Adam had been doing his best to care for his aging father, Phillip. He would go over after work and check on him, then he started stopping by in the mornings, too. Before long, it seemed that all he was doing in his free time when he wasn’t working was caring for his father. It got to the point when he would wake up in the middle of the night to the ringing of the phone and end up driving over to his father’s house to help him to the bathroom, or back up if he fell out of bed.
He knew that he couldn’t keep this up. He knew that he needed to find the right live in care for seniors, but he was going to have trouble ‘letting go.’
Adam was a controlling person. He needed to feel as though he was in control of every situation. He needed to know that everything was being done the way that he wanted, or expected, it to be done. He just couldn’t keep up this routine as it was affecting his work, his personal relationships, and even his health.
For Adam, letting go was going to be a challenge. He talked about the prospect of hiring a 24 hour home care provider with his father and Phillip agreed that it would probably be best. For Phillip understood that he wasn’t improving, he wasn’t getting stronger, and that at some point it would either be hiring a 24 home care provider or moving into a nursing home or assisted living facility, which was not one of his priorities.
Adam began calling around to several 24 home care agencies and providers and interviewed several. He didn’t like any of them. Some were young women with very little experience and a few were older and he suspected their motivations were not in his father’s best interest.
After weeks of searching, Adam couldn’t find someone that would be ideal. For Adam, the problem wasn’t the pool of prospects but rather his own controlling nature that was getting in the way.
Adam had to step back, set his ego aside, and determine what his father needed. He had to talk to his father and include him in the process of finding the ideal live in caregiver for him. Once he managed to do that, he was able to step aside a bit and allow this person to be there for his father.
Hiring live in care for seniors can be tough, especially if you want to be in control. But when it comes to the health and well-being of your loved one, not hiring someone when it’s needed is the biggest mistake of all.
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