Alex had always thought his mother should move in with him and his wife. Their children were grown and had their own careers. One of them was about to have their first child, so Alex and his wife Sarah were about to be grandparents. They were still working full time, but planning for retirement. They knew Alex’s mother was having difficulty and they had been caring for her for quite some time, but the commute was a long and difficult one.
When she moved in, they assumed things would be easier.
Both Alex and Sarah assumed that having his mother living in the same house with them would make things a lot easier. They thought it would be simpler for them to just help her without having to drive an hour or more each way to her house.
Unfortunately, things actually became more stressful.
When Alex (and Sarah) were splitting time driving out to visit his mother to help her go shopping, get things done around the house, make some repairs, help take care of the lawn during the fall, and even prepare meals for her in advance, it took a toll on their relationship. The stress snuck in without them noticing.
Alex and Sarah had not spent much time together because whatever free time they did have seemed to be devoted to his mother. She wasn’t asking for much more than the basic essentials in life, but when she moved in with them, because they were right there all the time, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, it became easier for her to call on their help whenever she just didn’t feel like struggling with something on her own.
Before they realized it, Alex and Sarah were constantly getting up, walking down the hall, running errands, doing laundry, picking up one more item from the store that his mother forgot, and so on.
The stress of taking care of her full-time, around-the-clock, was wearing on them even more than it had before. They realized that just having an elderly family member move in wasn’t going to make things easier; it was actually going to create even more stress because there was no escape now. No way to say no.
That’s when they understood the importance of home care support. Whether a senior is living with family or on their own, a home care aide or series of caregivers can be a tremendous asset for helping those family caregivers avoid stress or at least significantly reduce it in their life.
If you or an aging loved one are considering home care to reduce caregiver stress in Salisbury, NC, contact the caring professionals at TenderHearted Home Care today. Call us at 704-612-4132
I have enjoyed volunteering my time as the President of the Rowan County Home School Association, assisting with the Parkinson’s Support Group, Walk to End Alzheimer’s, Pregnancy Support Center, MOPS International, Capstone Recovery Center, Kairos Outside, Celebrate Recovery, various church committees and going on a mission trip to Moldova. I am a member of the Rowan County Council on Aging, Meals on Wheels board member, REACH of Rowan County, HIPSS of Davidson County, Second Tuesday Business Group and several Christian Business Life Groups.
I am passionate about serving others and providing the most compassionate care possible, as I would want for my own family. I love relaxing with my husband, Peter, and my two dogs, Yoyo and Terra Cotta.
Latest posts by Renee Gray (see all)
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